Perfect Mate
Written May 2002
Mate doesn't sound like the best term
to use, but what I mean is, is this is my view of what the perfect
person to spend the rest of my life would be like. Ya know, someone
to marry (If lucky enough).
First, no ones actually perfect, and
I know she won't be. She'll make mistakes, do things she'll wish she
had never done, but she'll be willing to talk about those things.
She won't hide her mistakes, and try to put up a front as being perfect.
She'll be human, but also won't dwell on her mistakes, though wouldn't
be stubborn enough to not come for help if she found herself dwelling.
She'll be open and honest about things
like mistakes, won't hide them as a I said, though she won't be making
any mistakes like having some guy insert part of his body into hers.
That would be a complete lack of loyalty and breaking of trust. By
loyalty, I don't mean happy puppy type loyalty, but more of an I got
your back, you got my back kind. Having someone's back does involve
not betraying him or her, and sleeping with someone would in my mind
be a complete lack of loyalty. Also for loyalty, if she caught wind
of people plotting not very nice things against me, or heard people
talking behind my back, she would inform me of these things.
Going back to trust, I guess it encompasses
some of the same things loyalty does. Or perhaps it's that I'd trust
her to be loyal, and have my back. Trust would also involve believing
she wouldn't do anything intentional to hurt me. If she did do something
to hurt me accidentally, I would hope she'd be honest enough to admit
her mistake, like I mentioned above, because I do believe hiding things
and not dealing with them, is worse (I wouldn't get mad, since causing
hurt wouldn't have been her intention).
She of course would be kind and understanding
of me, the way I'm understanding of her. She'll understand that I
am human as well, and am not perfect, though I'll try. She also won't
be anything like a slave. She'll have a mind of her own, opinions
of her own (which we may or may not share), and make choices of her
own. Though she wouldn't stubbornly stick with things, and would be
open enough to hear views different from her own. She doesn't have
to accept them of course, just be willing enough to listen and not
shun. And she will of course be willing to compromise when we are
making joint decisions (I'd be willing to, too).
I really don't care about her sex-drive,
though if she wants it all the time, I think I would get tired out,
lol. My main concern would be if she likes being touched, and I mean
in a non-sexual way. She should like cuddling, hugging, showing affection.
Also just being able to sit or lay together on a couch, so we can
enjoy each other's presence.
I would hope that she'd eventually trust
me enough to tell me things she may not want anyone to know about.
Like if she's been through abuse or assault in the past, things that
were major events, and knowing them, could help me understand her
better. Though, I know this would be a touchy subject for anyone,
so I wouldn't ask her to tell me something she wouldn't want to. I
just would want her to know she can tell me anything about her past,
without me changing my view of her (Though if she said she was a hooker,
I might be concerned about STD's.. so in that regard, change would
happen).
That's all I can think of at the moment,
and seems like a very specific list, and it is. In real world use,
it might be more just the general concepts I'm trying to express,
and I would of course do the same for her. I wouldn't expect her to
do these things, if I didn't do them too.