Back to Main
Back to Thoughts

Thoughts

Liking Someone
Written May 2002

By liking I mean what could be called a crush, or a wanting to maybe date or hang out with the person who is being liked.

Sometimes I wonder if the act of liking someone is a selfish thing (In the situation where the person doesn't like you back, or you don't know if that person likes you). Why is it selfish? Because this person has friends, family, a job, school, etc.. and a life of his or her own. What right does someone have to want to interfere in that life, by wanting to play a larger part in it?

To me it just seems like the motivation of liking someone is for self gain. Sure, you could get lucky and the person you like ends up liking you, then you both gain, but how often does that happen? At least in my experience, and from others who I know, not very often.

If you don't know if that person likes you back, you can always try asking him or her out or something to find out, then leave him or her alone if he or she turns you down. That doesn't seem too selfish, but ever consider his or her feelings in the matter? If the person is nice, then you are putting him or her in a situation where he or she will feel bad about turning you down, because he or she may feel your feelings are being hurt. You could also put him or her in an uncomfortable situation, if you see him or her on a daily basis (like at school or in the workplace). There is also the possibility that you'll cause him or her more stress, and if his or her life is already stressful, then you are doing him or her a major disservice.

Perhaps I'm over thinking things, and just trying to make excuses for not asking someone out. Though in my twisted form of messed up logic, this makes sense.