Half People
Written May 2002
I didn't make up this term, but it's
a concept I have held in my mind for quite sometime. I just won't
take credit for the term though (a friend made it up, in response
to the phrase finding your better half) .
Half people are people who feel they
need to be with someone to be happy. They feel an emptiness inside,
and a yearning or wanting they feel another person can fill. They
can't feel happy about themselves, or at least not completely, and
loneliness is something that scares them.
They are the kind of people who get too
invested in a relationship or dependent on the other person. They
may call too much or want to be with the other person too much. They
may get paranoid about where the person is, when the person isn't
around. Or they may get jealous when the person is going out with
friends, without them. They need that person, and that need helps
fuel the fear that, that person will leave them or cheat on them.
Though, they may not always react in
that way either. If once they get into the relationship, they don't
feel that happiness, they may not continue with it, or may try to
lean on the other person even more so. It of course won't work, because
the void that needs filling will be there, until dealt with. Though
they may be able to cover it for awhile, it's always lurking.
What these people need to do, is to learn
to be happy with themselves. It may involve some deep personal reflection
to find out why they feel sad or empty, then working on the problem.
It could be something from their childhood or perhaps something that
happened later in life. There may not be a reasonable cause to find,
but that shouldn't prevent someone from learning to be happy with
him or herself. They need to learn to not hate their faults (if they
like running in traffic, well that fault should be fixed), and to
learn to be happy with their bodies, if there are problems in that
area. They may need to seek a professional to fix whatever is wrong
though.
When they become complete people, and
don't feel like anything is missing, or that they need something to
feel whole and happy, then they can get into a relationship. I believe
a relationship that involves two people who aren't dependent on each
other for happiness can be much better and deeper. There wouldn't
be that fear or paranoia, and they should feel more able to be fully
open and honest.
That's the way a relationship should
be (In my mind).