Change, Not Always Good
Written 5/3/02
I thought being the shy-quiet one was
bad.
I was wrong, there’s much worse.
I’ve spent most of my life hiding,
secretly wanting to ask this girl or that girl out,
while never doing so.
Last year I finally got the courage to,
but got turned down.
She had a boyfriend,
so it was easy to move on.
This year, I tried again, by asking someone else out,
but instead this time as friends.
That I could have been happy with.
Unfortunately for me, I waited too long.
It was the end of the semester,
and she was really busy.
That too I could accept,
but moving on was harder.
I wanted to know if things could have been different,
if I had asked sooner.
My goal wasn’t to ask her out again though,
but to learn.
If she said yes,
then I would know that the next time I want to ask someone out, I
shouldn’t wait.
If she said no,
then I’d know it wasn’t any fault of my own,
and I could move on.
Unfortunately she misinterpreted what I was trying to ask.
She thought I was asking her out a second time,
and told me it made her feel uncomfortable.
Me being new to a situation like that, reeled.
I couldn’t think of how to tell her that wasn’t my goal quick enough.
So when the conversation was over, I was left feeling like some freaky-creep
kind of guy,
who makes women feel uncomfortable.
I wonder if she sees me in that light now.
I don’t know, but I do know,
I’d rather be the shy-quiet one again.