I Finally Know
Written 5/18/99
Why am I such a fool,
I thought people liked me, thought maybe I was cool.
I was accepted, even called a friend,
turns out, it was all pretend.
I can see now, I'm just a joke,
treated like an egg without it's yoke.
Why hurt me, what have I done,
all I wanted was a friend, but I get none.
I make myself suffer, trying to help others,
do I get thanked, nope, not even by their mothers.
Why do I still try,
I know no one would care, if I were to die.
But why should I give them what they desire,
they all should be thrown into a great big fire.
Maybe then they'll know my pain,
I doubt it, they'll miss out on all the shame.
I sound angry, and I have the right,
all I wanted was kindness returned, why'd they put up such a fight.
Finally I know, my place in this life,
to smile as my heart is pierced by their knife.
What else can I do, what else could I say,
they'll just laugh at me all day.
Oh wait, what if I let them see me weep,
no way, their laughter would just keep.
So finally I know my place,
to smile, and hide the tears on my face.