My Place (v4)

I've been thinking about making another journal, like perhaps a livejournal account. Not for the purpose of hiding anything, or what not, but as a place to work on character development. I think that might be a good way to work on the character of a character for like a book or a story. I could post entries as that character, have her or him talk about her life, what's going on, or things that are just on his or her mind. Might be interesting? And overtime, could eventually get a handle on how to speak and write as the character. Though the only real book idea I currently have, would be written in 3rd person, not 1st, and I think that'd be more helpful if writing in 1st person, because then you actually need the character's voice. 3rd, ya don't. Unless maybe I could write it in 1st.. hmm.

Of course, I would have it mentioned on there somewhere that the entries are all fiction. Least I think that would be wise to do? Hmm.. or maybe not, then as the character, I could reply to comments. But if the character has a lot of problems or issues to deal with, then well, might be better to actually post that it's fiction, so people don't get all worried about my character. Don't want to cause any emotional damage to people!

So, yesterday Donald Rumsfeld testified and such. I watched some of it, tried to catch most of the Senate part, despite falling asleep at times. And damnit!! Days of our Lives wasn't on, cuz NBC covered it.. jerks. Anyway, I give him credit for admitting accountability, failures of his, and saying he was sorry. Though I don't really understand why he wasn't as aware of things going on that were. Believe he mentioned he didn't know how bad the picture were? And also, he said it wasn't put all out in public, because it would ruin or hurt the investigation? Ummm... riiiight. Then how come whenever someone is suspected of being a terrorist, it is out everywhere. Oh well. Also, why the hell did the Senators have to go on giving freaking speeches? Dems and Reps! Really annoying. They were there to ask questions, not preech on about their personal opinions and such. It was fine to voice and opinion when it involved a question though or give ideas on how things could be improved, like that one guy in the House did, talking about how his men never getting in trouble. But, the rest, time waisters!

What else.. Sean Hannity is still being an idiot. Nothing personal dude, I know you must be a fairly smart man, but the way you pander to the mindless masses of crazy rightwingers, instead of trying to be factual, is annoying. He is freaking out that John Kerry has been voicing his disapproval with the abuses of Iraqi prisoners. Not sure if he has said Rummy should resign too? But, Sean freaks out over that, and plays a piece from a show from 1971 I think it was? It which Kerry mentions how he took part in shooting in free fire zones and burning down the homes of non-combatives, and later found out that wasn't right to do, and such, and is speaking up about it, to let everyone know what had happened and the bad policies. Sean though, thinks this means Kerry can't speak out about the abuses, because Kerry admitted to being all evil.. uhh.. riiight. To any unbiased observing, taking things in context, Kerry is speaking out against what the soldiers did this time around, the same way he did back then. What's so bad about that? And the things Kerry said he took part in, I can understand why a soldier may not know those are wrong to do, despite it being US policy.. compared to what soldiers were doing now, stripping and molesting Iraqi prisoners. Oh well.. enough about that.

Anything else I could talk about, naw.. fingers are hurting for no real reason, so guess that's enough for now!

Posted by Me on 5/08/2004 04:37:54 PM | Comments?

Friday, May 07, 2004

What the fuck! I was playing the damn game, actually starting to get good hands, making more tokens! Which of course you don't keep, but still, it was a pride and ego thing! I won a hand for 20k some tokens, one of the higher ones I'd seen. Next hand I folded, so left to go pee pee, comeback, and the fucking game had me standing? Meaning it decided I wasn't playing anymore. WTF!!! I wasn't even gone 30 seconds, and the same hand was still going that I folded for. So I sat down, and all the tokens I had won, were gone. Bah.. freaking retarded.

So, well.. stopped playing. Didn't see any fucking reason to continue after it screwed me over for no reason, and why try to build my token total to only end up getting screwed again maybe?

Sigh.. why isn't anyone I know online? Really sucks the people I talk to online, normally are NEVER online anymore. Oh well.. boring boring life!

Posted by Me on 5/07/2004 11:43:53 PM | Comments?

Blargh.. seems my tag board is now down and making loading my blog take awhile.

Unless it's just me?

Blah.

I could go on about Politics again today, I did yesterday, so that's enough for now. Unless I feel more like it later. Right now, playing some Texas Hold 'em online, argh.. wasn't paying attention enough, so almost out of the game. Right now I'm folded, and just waiting for the next hand.

Need some luck though!

Edit:
Okay.. I don't need luck. The bet got higher than I had left, tried to bet, and the game just reset me to the begining amound of tokens.. so I could bet. Yeah, it's not a money game or a game that counts. Hmm.. makes it a bit weak then. Really can't bluff someone out of the game, when going out of the game isn't possible.

Oh well.. takes some of the fun out of it, but really don't want to play the games that actually count either. So guess I'll have to deal.

Posted by Me on 5/07/2004 10:38:02 PM | Comments?

I had Wendy's for dinner, it was yummy!

Wow, so it would seem that some law makers are now calling for Donald Rumsfeld to resign, because of the abuse. Can't say I totally agree there, though the people who I've seen saying he should resign because of all his failures, I'd agree there. The post wars in Afghanistan and Iraq (for example), were very poorly managed. One general was ruined because he thought it would take more troops in post war Iraq and spoke up about it!

So, what are the right-wing retards saying about this? And when I say right-wing retards, I'm not calling everyone who considers themselves right-wing a retard, just those who act like idiots and have poor reasoning skills. Anyway, I'm hearing them saying how we're at war, and we need to win it! Need to support the troops, help them win! That the "Evil" Dems are trying to win an election not a war, and blah blah blah. It's really stupid. The main reason they seem to bring up is the troops, and that we can't remove him during a war. So the person doing a poor job running the war can't be removed because we are at war? How freaking retarded is that? And, shouldn't they want someone incharge who will help better manage the troops? Oh noooo, because removing Rummy might hurt Bush, and they want to win the election.

Another great thing I was hearing today and yesterday, when it came to the abuse of Iraqi prisoners, were the right-wing retards going on about how Saddam was worse, how he tortured his people more! And to that, I say, so what? As Bill O'Reilly would say, you don't justify bad behavior with other bad behavior. Meaning, yeah what Saddam did was bad, but Saddam is gone now, and it's the US whose doing bad now. Degree compared to Saddam shouldn't matter. We're supposedly the "good guys" and shouldn't be doing it at all.

That reminds me how poor ol' Sean Hannity who seems to like the job of loudmouth right-wing retard, was saying "Where's the outrage!?" When it came to Saddam. He seemed to think everyone who was being outraged now didn't care about what Saddam was doing and are all "evil" Libs. Man, how idiotic can he act? I don't recall how much outrage there was about Saddam, but I'll just go with there is more now about the abuses the US did. So poor ol' Sean can't understand why there is more outrage about us, the "good guys" doing sick and bad things compared to the outrage over Saddam who is known to be sick and bad. Hmmm. Time for an analogue. Lets say a known rapist rapes someone. Nothing new there, people could be outraged over it, but what if the Pope goes and rapes someone. Now, wouldn't there be a lot more outrage and shock and such when someone who everyone sees as good does something bad, compared to someone bad doing something bad? I think there would be. Least that makes sense to me, does it to you?

And lets see here, I'm sure there are more awful things going on in other countries too, that could be worth more outrage, but they aren't getting it. You know why? Because those doing it, aren't us or a part of our country. The US soldiers doing it, are us and are a part of us. Now, if someone can't understand why that would cause more outrage, well then, they're just a retard in my opinion.

Did I ever mention angel food cake is yummy? Mmmm..

Posted by Me on 5/07/2004 12:02:28 AM | Comments?

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Can I start this entry off with a whine? My cafe is reeeeaaaalllly hurting. No reason, just started. Stretching doesn't help, so I'll just have to suffer!

I was just reading someone else's blog, and it occurred to me, while I try to keep an open door policy here, no editing allowed (unless for typo's or incorrect factual info) despite regretting something said while posting in emotion, I am not as forth coming as I had started out to be. Hmm.. more just my spiritual side. I am, in uncertain words, "slightly psychic." Maybe more than slightly, really doesn't matter to me, and I would prefer the term spiritual aware or open, since I don't really like the term psychic and all the bad impressions it can bring up in people, but that's not the point.

The point, I don't think I've ever ranted about that. I haven't gone into detail about anything that has bothered me in that area, when it came to something I saw or picked up on. Now why's that? Maybe I didn't feel comfortable getting that open to some of the people who I think read this? I had seriously thought about starting a new blog, just for my spiritual side, without telling anyone about it. So I could be as open as I wanted without fear. But why should I have to do that? I shouldn't be shy about expressing or ranting about that side of me. It's part of who I am, and something that others should be able to accept about me and if they can't, well then, they weren't friends in the first place. Well, true friends at least.

So, with that said, time to do something I'm going to regret later, that may make me really wish I had a policy that said I could edit or censor past posts.

Recently, talking with a friend.. she was telling me about problems with her sister, and the idea of her being sexual assaulted or molested somehow, came to mind. An image of the man who did it, also came to mind. Now, what is the right thing to do in this situation? Morally, would it be right to tell her about this or not to? I was really unsure of what to do. I believe, I could have been possibly right in what I was seeing and picking up on, but to actually put through this information to her about her sister, well that was putting a lot of faith and trust in myself (Something I lack when it comes to these kind of things). And also, what right do I have in telling her? Wouldn't it be like playing god in a way? And, wouldn't her sister not want her to know? Though wouldn't telling her, hopefully in a way help her sister, since maybe if she tried to talk to her sister about it, it'd come up, and then the healing could begin?

Hmm.. there were a lot of thoughts going in in my head. Was a nice moral dilemma. Least I thought it was. Not sure I covered everything I was thinking either. Hmm.. oh well. And that's an idea I had, to start a blog for these kind of moral dilemmas that I get stuck with. Or just other kind of things I may talk about later. For now, think I've said enough, and need to get this posted, because I don't have any policy against deleting things before they are posted!

So, yeah, later.. and if you must call me crazy, remember, I'm a not gonna kill or stab you 20 times kind of crazy, and therefore a good crazy. So stop backing away damnit.

Posted by Me on 5/06/2004 02:36:55 AM | Comments?

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Unfortunately paying attention to some current, and well old events, and geeez. The Bush administration just seems to be such a horrid failed, corrupt group of people. Maybe not all of them, but the whole certainly are. I know it's pretty bad to say that and I should say things to back that up, but this is my journal and I don't feel like it. It's just so disheartening how bad they are, it's unbelievable. The amount of areas that show this, is soo large. One reason I don't feel like going into it, there is so much. Maybe that's their plan; Fail, hide, cover up, betray the country, etc.. and it'll be too much for the simple minds to comprehend? And just disgust and dishearten those who actually pay attention?

Bah, maybe when I feel more up to it, I'll rant some more in detail.

Posted by Me on 5/05/2004 11:48:16 PM | Comments?

A friend posted a short story she wrote in her journal, and has been talking about her writing, being more creative, and ugh, it's got me all thinking about finishing up a short story I wrote back in the fall of 2001. Wrote it for a writing class, and I think with a little work, it could be great (The first draft got an awesome reaction from the class!). Mostly, the end needs to be shored up. Think it came out really well though, and I've even been thinking of ways to write a sequel. Oy, just wish I was feeling better though. For about the last week, health just seems to have taken a nose dive. I guess it's a good sign, and less than two weeks till I get in for testing, so that's looking promising. But to write, or just revise and edit a short story, can take a lot of time. Which isn't something I feel I have a lot of. Well a lot of being able to sit at the computer and work, without feeling too sick to go run to the bathroom or lie down. I won't get into details beyond that.

So.. getting an urge to work on writing, well to work on short stories (besides what I already would like to do), but this is more concrete and I have a better idea of how to finish them, unlike the book idea floating around in my head, which I don't know how to start on. So, got a good idea how to finish on something, but not sure body will allow me to put the time in, joy!

Posted by Me on 5/05/2004 01:13:17 AM | Comments?

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Monday, May 03, 2004

For those who don't care for my political rantings.. stop reading.

So good ol' Bush is off touring some states again, giving speeches for his re-election, etc. Ya know, I would prefer if he was actually doing his damn job. That thing called running the country. Despite his perceived lack of ability to run the country, he should at least be trying to. The damn election is still 6 months away, he should not be out giving speeches about why he should be re-elected. What he should be doing is running this country well! That is better than any damn speech he can give. Also he has already shown he won't do the things he gives in speeches to get elected, so no one should be trusting what he is saying now, and besides, action speaks louder than words. If he was actually doing a good job as President, all he would need to do, is keep doing that! That's a whole lot damn better than any speech. Instead though, since he isn't able to run this country well, he has to be off getting money for re-election or giving vote for me speeches, in which he isn't exactly being honest. Saw part of a speech he gave today, and of course he has to lie again, about Kerry. Claiming Kerry is gonna raise taxes on everyone, while doing that "heh heh" giggle of his. Sigh.. why can't he tell us what he would do? Oh right, he'll give money to the rich and screw everyone else, so he can't speak of what he'd do. Oh, you disagree? Well then you're living in fantasy land, because Bush's actions have already proved that. That's why Bush can't be all big on speaking about what good he can do, because he hasn't done any. So he has to lie and attack Kerry, and perhaps Kerry raising taxes on everyone isn't a lie? We don't know that, Kerry says he won't, so until Kerry does or says differently, all Bush is doing is lying. Plain and simple.

It's really unbelievable though, how can anyone in their right mind even consider to vote for Bush again? Well unless yer clueless or rich and want more payoffs. He's economy policy is to give money to the rich, that's all it seems to be. And if you want to claim he is tough on terrorism, you're living in fantasy land. Sure, he did invade Afghanistan after 9/11 and won, but anyone with the US's military could have won that. The hard part, which is the rebuilding and running of Afghanistan, is were he has failed miserable. Just take a look at it. The warlords run the country, not the US or the President the US put in charge. US troops are still dying, and some because the US is using guides who are against us, and lead the US troops into ambushes! The drug trade is back up, etc. I won't doubt some good has been done there, but if you look at it overall, it has been a failure.

And what about Iraq? There is no proof Iraq was connected to 9/11, had ties to terrorist, had WMD's, and was a threat to the US. Actually Iraq wasn't even a threat to other Arab countries. Still, Bush invaded. No credit there, he won, big deal. Again, only a freaking retard would lose that war, considering the differences in military might. But if you look at the post war planning, it's been a failure. Actually, if you look at how some of the troops have been supplied, how the war was rushed, the push for a smaller military (by those with no military experience), the war was a failure too. More US lives were lost than needed because of those things. A US National Guardsmen even spoke recently about how poorly the plan for war was, and how they ran out of supplies! That's inexcusable.

This Administration has failed the US and it's people. Anyone who thinks differently, must be ignorant. There is no other way, considering how poorly it has performed. Even the Administration thinks it's poorly performed, considering how most of what they say when it comes to re-election is lies about Kerry. If you truly think differently, please prove me wrong, I won't hold my breath though.

Posted by Me on 5/03/2004 07:23:06 PM | Comments?

Well I got my wish. A cold front came through yesterday afternoon, though there wasn't a thunderstorm. Booo! Still, had some wind and rain, and the temp really did drop. From 80 to 45 in just a few hours. Got a bit colder than I would have liked, but I'll take a little colder over too hot any day. If it's cold, you just put on clothes. If it's too hot, well.. not much you can do besides getting naked, and even then, if it's still too hot, well, you're stuck. So, I'll take cold any day.

A question for you dear reader, have you ever been giving a digested sacrifice to the porcelain gods, then started to feel nauseous, and ended up giving a somewhat digested sacrifice, only to have the gods reward you with a splash of water to your face?

Just curious, it's never happened to me, especially last night. Honest.

Should I be embarrassed right now, or gleefully happy I grossed out everyone? Oh well, so this morning feeling fine, besides a nice pain in the area of my stomach. Still eat, fine. When I go to take a shower, I start feeling slightly nauseous again, joy! Didn't throw up though, happily. I actually just sat down in the shower to relax, lol.. made my stomach feel better to. Water was nice too.

Really annoyed though, don't see how I could be stick, haven't left the house in quite some time, and the people who live here, haven't been sick! So I'm wondering if this is just my body responding to the all gluton I've been eating. It would be a good sign if so, showing that I might very well have CD then. Though.. I really do not want to be feeling this way for the next few weeks till I get tested. I had planned on getting stuff done, be more creative! I figured, since I have spent so many years worried about getting healthy, I would just not worry about it, since I needed to be "sick" to get tested positive. Turns out, that I haven't been feeling well enough to get done all the stuff I had wanted too! Hmpth, this a catch 22 perhaps?

Oh well.. that's my lovely rant of the day.

Posted by Me on 5/03/2004 04:20:51 PM | Comments?

Saturday, May 08, 2004

Friday, May 07, 2004

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Monday, May 03, 2004

Sunday, May 02, 2004