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Journal

Wheee.. did some updating. I now got working comments hopefully. Also uploaded some articles I wrote about same-sex marriages. To find them, just click on the link to the political section, which you should see at the top, rightish of this page.

If you'd like, read 'em and email me comments. =)

Posted by Me on 4/03/2004 02:40:00 AM | Comments?

And now.. they are working again.

Don't tease me!!!

Oh well, and was working for Mem when it wasn't for me, so maybe just something nutty at my end, hopefully.

Posted by Me on 4/03/2004 12:53:08 AM | Comments?

Umm.. okay.. now none of my links or pics are loading. I guess I need to make some changes to my links, even though they had been working before.. that's totally weird.

Blecky.

Posted by Me on 4/03/2004 12:44:09 AM | Comments?

Yay, site is back up and working now! Really don't feel like saying much though, lol.. would like to thank my lovely hostess MemoryandDream for getting moved and working. She rocks and stuff, have I ever mentioned? =)

Posted by Me on 4/03/2004 12:35:10 AM | Comments?

test. test. why do you say error but work...? so odd.

ah......it was the archive path. cool. it's fixed. I rock.

Posted by Me on 4/03/2004 12:10:25 AM | Comments?

Now comes the part where I - MemoryandDream - try to get this thing working for Humble.

*hits publish to see what happens*
(ok, hits publish several times....hrm....errors but it worked....)

Posted by Me on 4/03/2004 12:02:15 AM | Comments?

I don't think my last post was that clear, since I was trying to talk in a chatroom, while writing the post, lol. I know I wasn't very good at trying to get the points across I was trying for. Oh well.

Anywho, so after 6 hours of just waiting around, and speaking to the nurses at this doctor's office a few times over that period, I now got me an appointment, to come in and get some biopsies done. Only problem, it's on May 17th!! Blargh, I was hoping for end of April at the latest. Guess, the only good I can get from this, is it means I get more time to try and make myself as unhealthy as possible, so the test results come back positive. What fun! Actually, in a way it can be, the eating of yummy foods part. The part about being unhealthier, isn't. I'm not even gonna be trying to keep myself healthy. By that I mean, normally I spend a lot of time, trying to just will myself to get better. I do realize, I haven't.. but perhaps doing that has kept things from getting much worse? Yikes. Don't want to think about it, but thinking about it, might be good, if it makes me worse. Man.. so stupid, to get positive results on this test, I need to try and make myself sicker. And people complained when I use to cut? That only left scars, this seems worse.

But, least I get yummy foods for awhile as I said! Had stuffing with dinner tonight, something I previously couldn't have, mmm.. how orgasmic! lol Oh, must eat cakes, and cookies.. nice yummy stuff, all because the doctor says too! Man, that sounds so funny. Though, do gotta be careful not to get fat, that'd suck. But, if in my attempt to get myself sicker, I do, and screw up the inner lining of my small intestines really well, my body won't be able to absorb anything that'll make me fat! Sure, the good things in the food won't be absorbed either, but why fret the details? Oh, and for the clueless ones, this disease, Celiac disease, is diagnosised from getting biopsies from the inner lining of the small intestines. A sign of the disease, is that the cilia along the walls are all messed up and/or dead. So.. that's my goal!

So nutty. And, I most certainly need to do some redoing to my CD/GF section. Try to point out how naive and ignorant I was to trying to avoid gluton. Maybe it'll save someone else all this, umm.. time? Oh well. That's it for now.

Posted by Me on 3/30/2004 09:14:58 PM | Comments?

Well, I talked to a friend who has a food allergy to soy, and boy, I have been so naive and ignorant to how life needs to be changed when it comes to trying to avoid something you have a food allergy too. It's a lot more work than I thought, and asking speaking with her, feeling well better.. I'd say. Am I all better and happy? Not really, but just more accepting of things, and feeling better about going back for the further testing. Could call this a nice learning experience. Well, not that nice, more unpleasant, but it comes down to, do I have what it takes inside me, to stick to a gluton free life? Which, would basically involve, err.. I can't think of it all right now. But definitely a lot more work than I thought about. Just need to call up, inquire about the testing, then go from there. Gonna take it one step at a time, instead of worrying about it all this time. But, to answer the question, do I have the strength.. well, I think I do, I just need to have positive test results, to beable to find that strength, and use it.

Shoot.. what else is there to say? I was writing this, like 20 minutes ago or so.. be online, in a chatroom, talking to people, etc.. so totally lost my train of thought.

Oh well, I'll just end right here then, lol.

Posted by Me on 3/29/2004 11:43:38 PM | Comments?

So.. I think I've decided, I'm just gonna go off the gluton free diet, for.. a month or so, so I can get the biopsies done, so I can know for sure if I have Celiac disease. Bah, just means the past 4 months have been a complete waste. All the hope I had for improved health, is gone. All hope of the future, gone. Maybe that's not entirely so, but.. is how I feel now. Can't help it, just is. Man, was nice going a few months without feeling depressed though, and feeling hopeful and happy. It not like this is a death sentence, even if I might like one.. but, eh, I so hope to god then, that the biopsies come back positive. If they aren't.. then, what else could be the cause of my health issues? Been going to doctors for, hmm.. nearly 10 years now. Have been mis-diagnosised, had surgery that wasn't needed, fun stuff. Been told it was all in my head, that I just needed therapy, lol.. riiight. Some doctors are stupid, oh, and the therapy didn't work either.

What a wonderful life, I live. When I was in highschool, I thought at 25 I'd have a career, be married, or close to it.. but any of those? Nope. As far away as one could be! Blah.. this journal is becoming all melodramatic like it use to be. But, eh.. my place to rant and express myself, and when I'm feeling depressed, feeling myself falling, the self-destructive tendencies trying to take over, how else is this place supposed to sound? Not all happy with puppies and fluffy bunnies, that's for sure.

And on that wonderful note, I go.

Posted by Me on 3/29/2004 04:04:53 AM | Comments?