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Journal

Blah.. haven't posted in this thing in awhile, not really in a typing mood right now either..

Had my blood pressure taken today. 100/60.. a bit high, hehe.. for me. Or low for "normal" people. Heart rate was 66, not bad either.

Today it got up to 32 degrees F, for the first time since Jan 9th, lol.. been cold.

Anyway.. later.

Posted by Me on 2/01/2003 12:17:01 AM | Comments?

Ugh.. in so much pain tonight, it's just great.. physical pain that is. Was feeling kind of hurt by someone who I thought was a friend.. but, the physical pain and discomfort is at least taking my mind of it. So there's the silver lining, though I'd rather beable to sit at this computer, without being bend over with intense stomach pain.. whhheee! Not to much to ask for, is it?

*shrug*

I dunno... maybe my ranting about not being able to keep friends was right (I don't try to lose them, just happens?), though.. online kind. Just feels like I'm growing more distant with one, rarely get a chance to see her online.. or hear back from YIM's sent when she's away. Yeah, lots of problems in her life.. so guess she needs to focus on that, instead of idle chit chat with me. Another, I'm just feeling hurt by her.. won't go into details, don't feel like it right now.. And another, I normally saw on a lot.. but.. heh.. haven't seen her on in awhile either. But.. guess that's how my life is meant to be? Bah.. and ouch it hurts!

Don't have much to say.. did go through my mail, despite how I'm feeling, since it's been awhile.. everyone should have been replied too. And I thought it was nice of someone to email me, asking how I am. Thanks again.. too bad I could reply with okay, lol.

That's all for now.

Posted by Me on 1/28/2003 01:00:59 AM | Comments?

My god, that was the most god awful Super Bowl I have ever watched. Did the Raiders even know the game was being played today? That was so fucking pathetic.

The Bucs, I would call such a lucky team. The best team in the NFL? Hardly. I will admit they are a good team, but very lucky to have won the Super Bowl. First, they beat the Eagles who are a much better team, because Andy Reid coached the game like he had bet on the Bucs. Or like a man who had no balls, to afraid of taking any risks.. which killed any aggression his players had. Second, the Bucs come up against another team much better than them, the Raiders. Though, the Raiders didn't come to the game until the end of the 3rd Quarter. It was so fucking pathetic. You'd think an experienced team like the Raiders, with players who've won Super Bowls on the roster, would be ready to play. But they weren't. They seemed to be playing like it was practice. No fire. No desire. Second half comes, and it looks like they had already given up. Though, they did at least start to try.. and they were getting points on the board. Though, too little.. too late. If they just started the game like that, it would have been a win for them. But nooo.. the Bucs had to get off easy. Two games in a row. Paper Champions? Totally. They didn't prove anything to me. They just showed they can kick a team's butt, when it doesn't come to play. Pretty much anyone can do that.

Bah.. just annoys me. Bucs should be thanking god, because he must have had something to do with it.. or they are just very lucky.

Oh well. Fun day for me.. got out of bed at 4:30 PM.. yeah, I totally suck. Watched the waste of time called the Super Bowl, though.. there were some good comercials. And made French Toast at like 11:45 PM, ugh.. just had an urge for French Toast. Yes, I'm a mental loser.. shoot me please!

Well, later.

Posted by Me on 1/27/2003 02:22:55 AM | Comments?

Hmm.. something weird happened last night, or maybe.. it really wasn't that weird, but normal.

I was just lying in bed, mind wandering.. and it came to thinking about what Mem wrote in her journal. Was really rough, what she wrote about. Times are pretty tough. And, so.. I had this feeling of hurt, like.. she is someone I do care for as a friend, and just thinking back about her problems made me hurt a little. Even felt slightly teared eyed for a bit. Now, could I blame my empathic abilities, and say I was feeling some of her pain.. or was I actually being a normal person, and feeling bad when someone I care for is hurting?

I dunno.. I wanna go with the later. Means I'm at least not as emotionally broken, as I think.. I am.

I do wish I could help her out somehow too, again.. here I am with the, well.. if I could help her out, then even if my life never goes anyway, then I did something worthwhile! But.. no, not going into that, and that's not my motivation. She's just a friend I care for, and the reaction to hearing she's not doing well, just makes me want to help her!! Makes me wish I was rich at times, could really help her then.. not buying anything fancy, just with basic things that are needed to survive.. so, don't think she'd feel right taking that much money? Blah.. she's earned her, been nice to me.. not expecting anything in return.

Now though.. just need to get rich somehow.

Anyone got any ideas, or want to put me in their wills?

Posted by Me on 1/26/2003 04:33:56 AM | Comments?