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Journal

Dear lordy.. yesterday, was by far one of the worst health days I've ever had. I'm hoping it was just something unique that happened, cuz.. that was horrible. No details, you really don't want the details on this one.

Today.. things aren't feeling good either.. somewhat upset, but no way nearly as bad. Hopefully tomorrow feels even better. Well better for me at least..

Hmm.. ya know, the most searched phrase that finds my journal includes the words "online journal" which makes sense. Next includes "Venessa Carlton" which doesn't make as much sense, lol.

Oh well.. later.

Posted by Me on 1/10/2003 09:56:46 PM | Comments?

I'm feeling stupid! Noticed in my guest book yesterday, someone left a really nice private message about 2 months ago, that I somehow missed. So I sent them a email, mentioning I saw it.. and saying if they still wanted to talk, I'd be up for it. But.. looking back at the email I sent, it was rather stupid.. bleck. Doubt I'll get a reply, and she'll think I'm some sort of freak! But, tis life.. ya screw up, then learn hopefully. Was interesting things were said is all, lol.

Last night, I was on AOL for awhile.. haven't been on it that much lately, but had too IM's going. One was the person who I missed in this journal awhile back, who basically ended our friendship.. and told me ways I could kill myself. She said she was sorry, and she was just being schizo that say.. I believe it knowing her, and I'm able to move on. So we talked, well she had a major crisis she needed to talk to someone about, and ask for advice about.. so was going that. In the other IM, was Sam.. she was mentioning how she was pushing away her boyfriend, which she has said if the only thing keeping her alive.. also commented about a new diet, since she thinks she needs to lose weight. Though she is actually beautiful.. I won't agrue with her about that though.. know she hates that.

So basically in one IM I was trying to help out someone who was really upset about a crisis, and in the other.. just trying to talk with someone else who has problems, but wasn't in crisis mode.. fun stuff! Oddly though, both brought up the subject of oral sex, which was partly involved in their problems.. partly.

I do good more into my own problems, but.. hey.. it is work dealing with other's problems! And I'm in an okay mode, and going into them.. would really ruin that, so maybe later.

Posted by Me on 1/08/2003 02:17:17 AM | Comments?

LOL.. I'm sick, just totally sick.. but I found this quote funny, in someone's AOL profile.

"If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons?"

Some really rude people kept calling at like 3 am!! It was annoying.. I didn't want to get the phone though, which was in my room.. though I don't have a phone in my room! And then I woke up.. and it was actually 3 pm, and it was like the phone ringing was messing around with my dreams.. lol.. bleck, yeah I suck, was asleep then. Just didn't want to get out of bed.

Anyway.. short post.

Posted by Me on 1/06/2003 05:15:29 PM | Comments?

Wednesday night I spelled something burning downstairs, no one else did though.. so it was like, oh well. Thursday afternoon, we noticed our Frig is no longer cold.. freezer section too. Most of the frozen stuff wasn't frozen, lol.. so figured I must have smelled it dying. Friday we got it fixed, actually it was fixed before I woke up.. hehe.. anywho, when I opened it, all we had in it, was a thing of milk, a bottle of coke, with almost no coke left, and some cream cheese. I just found that funny, how empty it was. It is more filled now, since it's working.

I feel so.. I dunno. Like I don't belong here. Like, my body is a shell and I'm trapped inside it. What I am, who I am.. is deep inside, with no way to get out. I'm just stuck in here, looking out these eyes.. ugh, hard to explain the feeling. Just everything around me seems so unreal? I dunno.. maybe a why is that there, how did it get here feeling, to the objects and things around me? So odd, should stop trying to feel it though.. getting sorta light headed, and just feeling weirder, lol.. fun. Must add though, not crazy.. this has spiritual reasons, with souls.. this realm of reality, etc. Kind of confusing to explain, and I'm not completely sure how to anyway.

We had another nice big snow small! Maybe you watch CNN, they have talked about the snow storm that hit the north east! Go us, maybe about a foot of snow this time. =)

Posted by Me on 1/06/2003 03:32:56 AM | Comments?