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Journal

Um, don't really feel like writing at the moment, not feeling good.. and I need to pee!!! But, uhh.. don't feel like getting up to do so, instead thought I'd tell you all something you really didn't want to know about. =P

So anyway, I'll right more later, hopefully sooner than later though, lol.

Posted by Me on 12/21/2002 01:50:20 AM | Comments?

From some odd reason, I've been watching a bit of CMT, it's the country-music channel.. basically. Really don't like most of the stuff, but the song by Martina McBride called Concrete Angel is really touching, or something.. seen parts of the music video. It's about a little girl, with a mom who doesn't care, and at the end of it, beats her to death. Not very happy, but song is nice.. in a way.

Also, there are a few others I like. Shawia Twain's I'm gonna getcha good, Faith Hill's Cry, and some others. One called Forgive is good, me thinks, only seen it twice, so could be off on the name. And yeah, only like female country singers, and some who are more cross over popish.

So, been awhile since I've posted, blah.

Updates:

1) Two, maybe three weeks ago I saw A.I: Artifical Intelligence, the movie with Haley Joel Osment, for the first time. It was on HBO. Anywho, Haley plays this robot that looks just like a little boy, and he was built to love, hope, and dream. Something new for a robot. Due to some misunderstandings, his adoptive family sends him to be destroyed, though the mother instead leaves him in a forrest. He doesn't like it, but heh, she thought she was saving him. To make a long story short, he goes on a quest to find the Blue Faery, which can supposedly make him a real boy, so his "mother" will love him back, and finds her under water. He is in a futurist flying-car-sub-thing. He parks infront of her, and well, it's a statue of a blue faery, but he sits there, asking to by made a real boy. Hoping, dreaming, wishing to be made one.

Those hopes, dreams, wishes go unanswered.. and he sits there staring and hoping for 2000 years. During this time the world freezes over, and all humans die. Aliens dig him up out of the ice, and he is a find for them, since he has memories of humans when they were alive. The Aliens are able to bring his "mother" back to life, though for one day only. So he spends it with her, has a great time, then she dies, and he lays down with her.. basically for, forever.. I guess, movie ends.

This all got me thinking, like.. I've been so hoping, wishing.. that someday I'll be healthy enough to actually have a life. And, I've pretty much lost hope.. and the movie was saying to me, no matter how much you hope and want something, it's pretty much useless. You won't get it. What'd the kid get? One day, after 2000 years of hoping.

Blah.

2) Remember the friend I mentioned? Didn't think so. She basically told me to suck it up, or kill myself. Well, known her off and on since 1997 or 1998. She replied to my email, telling me in a detailed fashion how I could kill myself. I replied back, telling her she had to do better than that to get rid of me. She replied back, told me she didn't want to talk to me anymore. To stop emailing me. Really didn't give me a reason.. I replied back, saying I'll accept that, just would like to know a bit more in detail why she decided to stop talking. Never got a reply back.

3) Ever feel like the world is trying to tease you? I've mentioned Jill before, someone who was a really nice person I knew, and cute too, lol. Beyound cute actually, but anyway, I know I'll never be seeing her again in my life. Least, very doubtful I'd see her again. Went to the same college, but we both have graduated, so very unlikely. Not really like thinking anything could ever happen with her, just.. do think about her from time to time, like anyone I've known. But anyway, few weeks ago, I was just flipping through the channels on TV, came across an infomecial for this paint spraying toy, and one of the lady's on it was writing her name, Jill.. umm.. world teasing me, or some sort of sign?

4) Hmm.. thanksgiving went well, I guess. Grandma behaved, my Lower GI didn't. Stomach did at least, lately it seems like my upper GI is going, bleck. Lower GI is already ruined, guess it was just a matter of time. Feel like I need to throw up, maybe a few days a week, it seems. Really fun. Anyway, so.. got through thanksgiving alright, we all played cards. Poker and Black Jack, I bombed completely.. only one to bust. At least we were only using match sticks.

Well, guess that's it for now.

Posted by Me on 12/19/2002 04:20:05 PM | Comments?