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Journal

Last night sucked! Well sorta. My sister and her boyfriend are staying here for the Holidays, while my brother is home from college.. and everyone was drinking. I wanted to drink too, get all nice and sorta drunk, not black out drunk like last May, but my freaking stomach started feeling really sick after my first drink!! Grrr!!! Couldn't finish my second one, and I was sorta feeling it too.. but not enough to have lots of fun.

Played some darts too, with two drunk people.. and I freaking lost most of the time! I had an okay time though, would have liked it if I could have been more in the "mood" too though.

Today my grandmother is coming here, and my sister's boyfriend is African-American. Should be interesting, because she is a bit.. bigotted towards them, kind of. My dad called her to tell her, and she did say she'd try to behave. So we'll see.

That's all for now, not dealing or writing about anything sad since I'm still feeling a bit up from yesterday.. was in a weird happy type mood, though I do know what's undernearth.. I'd rather enjoy feeling happy for as long as it lasts.

Later.

Posted by Me on 11/28/2002 01:53:52 PM | Comments?

Yeah yeah.. haven't posted in this for way too long. Bleck.. just don't seem to have the will to do anything anymore. I just want to crawl into a hole, curl up.. and just stay there. Not die, just be curled up.. all comfy, away from everything.. sigh.

Anyway, my last post.. from a friend who told me to just suck it up and life live or kill myself, well.. ya know what, that's what I had been freaking doing for the past umm, 6 years? It worked, even as I saw my health getting worse and worse, I kept sucking it up and living life. The only problem with that though, is I finally got to the point where I can't live life. They say to deal the hand yer delt, well my hand is missing some cards. Really can't win a game of poking like that.

It's so annoying. Some people can at least get a break, but when my body is my jail cell, I don't get it.. EVER.

A study by some doctor guy did find writing about emotional experiences helps lower blood pressure, so keeping this journal thing is actually a good thing. Don't remember his name though, think James something.

Last weekend we had so, by mid week last week, it was up to 50, and again this weekend we had snow. Today no snow on the ground, though it is less than 40 out, above freezing though. Had been rainning a bit.

Ummm.. anyway, stomach isn't feeling good so gonna stop now. Still gotta get this room cleaned up too, part of the way done. Just did an email write in journal break. Bleck.

Posted by Me on 11/25/2002 03:02:50 PM | Comments?